To The “Perpetually Single”

Let me tell you a little about myself.

I have never been one of those girls that gets asked out a lot. I don’t have any experience with “dating around” to figure out what kind of guy is best for me. I’ve never even gone on a date! In fact, I never even went to a high school dance with a guy.

That’s just… not my story.

I’m 20, and I’ll admit that for a good year or so I allowed myself to indulge in a fair amount of self-pity. “What’s wrong with me?” “Aren’t I fun?” “Aren’t I pretty?” And I allowed myself to sink into the belief that my value lay in the hands of the 20 year old guys I go to school with. And I, like many other beautiful young women, began to allow my Facebook relationship status to define my view of myself.

And not only that, but suddenly my greatest desire and end goal was to in some way make that status say anything other than “Single”.

But let me tell you, that mindset could not have been more destructive and deceiving. Destructive because it kept me from appreciating the season in life I’m in now, and deceiving because, though I may not be in a relationship…

I’m far from single.

Being “single” connotes being lonely and defenseless and alone. I am none of those things. I am loved. I am purpose filled. I am strong. But I am none of those things because I heard it from a boy. I am those things because I was created to be them by God, WITH or WITHOUT any human approval.

Sure, I would love to get married one day. (I would REALLY love to get married one day.) But being “single” is more of a mountain than a valley. It is a beautiful journey. It can be rigorous and exhausting and hard. I spend a lot more time reading and a lot less time flirting. I spend Friday nights watching “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” and eating Cheez-Its with my girl friends and not hitting up the town with my hot date.

But unlike a valley, which wears you down and leaves you stuck in a pit, “single”ness is a mountain. The longer you climb, the stronger you get. And through it all you know that the view will far surpass anything you can imagine.

So let me encourage you, all you who feel “perpetually single”. Being single is no curse. These are the years we get to learn who we are and who we aren’t. The years we get to dream and travel and explore. The years we hear God’s voice so loudly because it’s not at war with any others. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are PURSUED. You are PURPOSE-FILLED.

Not because a guy tells you. But because it’s true.

Take it from someone who knows. Your life doesn’t start when he FINALLY asks you out, it starts now. It doesn’t start at the alter in a white dress, it starts today.

You are more loved than you know. Start living like you believe it.






2 thoughts on “To The “Perpetually Single”

  1. Well, this is a cool little website!! Maddie I am so proud of you! I wish we were still as close as when we were in highschool and middle school and well all of our lives, but unfortunately we can’t talk every day and hang out all the time. However, whether we are close in distance or not, I still love you the same. Now on the separation note, I just wanted to say that I am beyond proud of you for learning this lesson on your own. You didn’t need to go through years of dating to try to find yourself. All you needed was some time to yourself in an new environment and some Jesus time! 🙂 What you did is something that I don’t think that I could have done (or at least not in just a years time) and I hope that you never forget the fact that even if a guy doesn’t tell you that you’re special, God knows you’re special, and I was lucky enough that he shared that fact with me. I am so thankful for our friendship and I always will be! I just hope that in the future, we can be closer in distance and I can always be right there when you need me for anything and vice versa! I love you so much my darlin 🙂 I’ll see you sometime this summer!!!


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