30 Days of Celebration: When It’s Too Much

I am well aware that I have been spending my days on an unlikely adventure.

I haven’t been updating my blog much lately because it has been so crazy, but I think it’s time to CELEBRATE the story I’m in.

I graduated college in May, and you can see the latest post for my feelings on that. It was hard. Unlike some people, I didn’t really know where I was going or what I was doing. I had interviewed one place, and so my eggs were kind of all sitting in that one basket. I was heartbroken from leaving all that I knew and loved. I like to think of myself as this adventurer, but in reality I’m still just a kid who gets scared and wants to crawl into her parents’ bed when things are too hard.

So, of course, God decided to take me on a whirlwind.

I didn’t get that one gig I had hoped for. Square one. I thought of a few options here and there, walked through my summer unsure. I have never been one to crave career, per se. Remember, I like to think of myself as an adventurer?

So I decided to actually pray about it. And do this weird thing called walking by faith. (To be clear, I stink at it. Really bad. But God is faithful anyways.)

Just when I felt at the end of myself, I got a text from my brother who lives in South Carolina. He invited me to come and stay with him for a week or two and try to find work down there. And when I say I felt at the end of myself, I’m not kidding. It wasn’t very triumphant. I cried and called him and said “I’m in”. And that was that.

I visited South Carolina just 2 months ago, aaaand… nothing. No jobs. I had applied a lot of places, and nothing came through. At least, nothing that would pay the bills. And so I waited, and waited,

and waited.

And two days before my trip was over, I decided to try one last time at the places I had looked into. I was mainly applying at churches, so I drove around with my resume as a last attempt. And at the last minute I decided to go ahead and visit a church someone had mentioned the week before, one I had never heard of and never would have looked into.

I figured, worth a shot? I was desperate, remember.

I walked in, they swiftly told me they weren’t hiring, but then just as I was about to walk out, they stopped me and told me that they do have an internship of sorts that might interest me. They said it was called a Fellowship, which is basically fancy speak for a church taking recent college graduates under their wing and teaching them how to be Christians in the workplace.

I had never heard of it. I decided to take the contact information for the director, just in case.

But let me remind you, this was mid-August. Surely a program like that was starting real soon, and the chances of me getting in would be slim to none.

But desperate, remember?

So the next day I decided to just contact the woman who ran it. Why not, right? I was still staring down no job, no housing situation, and a swift plane flight back to my parent’s place. I sent an email out – “Hi I’m Maddie! Let me be in your program??”

And 10 minutes later, got one back.

“Hi Maddie! You are actually way too late to apply for this program. It starts next week.”

Cool.

But… we actually had someone drop out just days ago. We have a spot open. Give me a call?”

And so I did. And I applied, interviewed, got accepted, and moved within a week.

 

I write this, 2 months later, still baffled that this is my story at all. And do you know what’s craziest about the whole thing? I am tempted, every single day, to not celebrate the story I’m living. Because let me tell you, packing up and moving and changing everything about your life in a week is not easy. It’s just not. The Lord lead me here, surely. I can’t begin to tell you how any of this is possible without the hand of a loving God. There’s just no way.

But just because God leads us somewhere, doesn’t mean it’s easy. In fact, it will most definitely be hard. But I celebrate today because hard doesn’t mean bad. Hard is something worth celebrating, because it grows us. It teaches us a lot.

I could go into so much detail about what I’ve learned in these 2 months already, but that will have to be for another post. For now, just know that God really is faithful. The things you think will tear you apart, won’t. The times that death will surely win, it won’t. Maybe physically, yes, for none of us can stop that. But spiritually, death has no say. The Bible talks about being upheld by the hand of God, by walking through fire and not being burned, by not being overwhelmed by the rivers.

And I’m here to tell you, it’s true. For every ounce of earthly disappointment and trial, spiritual growth is ten-fold.

And today, I celebrate that. I celebrate the headache I’ve had for 2 months because I can’t keep up with all the change. I celebrate the tears of leaving what I love. I celebrate the mornings I can hardly get out of bed because it’s just too much for me.

Because, yeah, it is too much for me. And yet I’m not crushed. It’s the hand of God.

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

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