One of my absolute favorite things about Jesus is the fact that He’s not afraid of brokenness.
Not His brokenness, not my brokenness, not the world’s brokenness. None of it. He’s just not afraid.
2 months ago, I was told to take some time and journal what I feared the most. Whatever it was that scared me more than any other thing. I was at a lake house at the time, so I settled into an outdoor reclining chair overlooking the water, and it wasn’t hard for me to choose my thesis.
Brokenness. I feared brokenness more than anything else.
I was scared of being broken, of appearing broken. And so I put all of my energy, all of the time, into trying to fool people that I wasn’t, indeed, broken. Which is a joke, of course, because none of us can make it through life unscathed.
In fact, the very idea of needing to appear perfect only highlighted the deepest level of brokenness in me.
But I have learned something in these 2 months, and I am sure I will continue to learn it everyday. Jesus loves broken people. In fact, the more broken the better. Jesus said that He didn’t come to call the “healthy”, but the sick.
I think of the prayer in Proverbs 30:7-9.
Two things I ask of you…
Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,
lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.
It is a prayer for brokenness. The writer is basically saying, “God keep me broken enough so that I will know I need you, because any illusion of wholeness apart from you will keep me away”.
Psalm 34 says that God is near to the brokenhearted. He is never closer than when we are broken, so why do I fear it? Being real with what breaks us is a gift, not only to us, but to everybody around. I think sometimes the very best gift you can give someone is letting them be broken in front of you, because you get it.
Every one of us gets it.
And it brings God near, so I’m thankful for it.