Not endings, but beginnings.
I mean, I can see it all as endings all the live-long day. I can choose to do that. But then I get stuck in all the goodbyes and miss all the beginnings.
I like hellos. They’re new and exciting. They’re the beginning of a book, the start of a chapter, and they’re fun.
I’ve been meeting a lot of new faces in this new chapter, and if I’m honest I’ve gotten stuck on the cup being half empty. Yes I miss my old faces and friends, but these new ones are my new adventure, and I don’t want to miss it.
Today I drive back to South Carolina, and although my heart wouldn’t mind being in Pennsylvania a few more days (or weeks), I have to embrace what’s next for me. No matter how hard it is, how it feels like running through thick, wet sand at times, I know it’s where I’m supposed to be so I go.
The goodbyes and heartache don’t need any extra attention. They demand attention whether or not I give it to them. They’re loud, and they captivate me too easily. It’s the beginnings that need my eyes, it’s the adventure that goes unnoticed. The celebration of the next chapter.
So I’m gonna try to put a megaphone up to the half-full cup. I want it to speak the loudest. Today I sat on my Pennsylvanian front porch, the very place I interviewed for the life I live now, and I prayed different prayers, 3 months later. I prayed that I would have the heart of a child. That I would see the wonder in moving and meeting new people and the possibility of it all.
I prayed that there would always be magic in my heart for the Christmas season, and that I would laugh- at myself, at the excitement of life. I prayed that my heart would be light as I drove back today, because if I don’t pray for lightness it will be bogged down. There are always 2,000,000 things to worry about, if I give them a place in my life.
I don’t want to give them a place in my life.
Thank goodness Jesus calls us to be like kids, because I want to be like a kid always. Especially today.